Ah, nuts.
I don't remember ever questioning Santa's existence, and when my mom finally broke the news to me when I was 9 years old, I was crushed. Absolutely heartbroken. I honestly had no clue. I don't fault her at all - she just naturally assumed that by the time a kid hits the fourth grade, surely they must have some grasp of reality. The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa - I never had any reason not to believe in them. When I did find out, I felt betrayed by dishonest grown-ups everywhere who insisted on perpetuating the lie of the jolly, all-knowing, fat man in the red suit to naive, unsuspecting children. That very night (out of a need to right those terrible wrongs) I made sure to break the news to my younger sister that Santa was nothing more than a ruse, and that parents are liars. Did I mention I took it kind of hard?
So naturally I evaded the question as much as possible when the kids brought it up while we were running errands today. These things never go as smoothly as I hope they will.
Natalie: "Mom, do you believe in Santa?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Natalie (with mild irritation in her voice, like "duh, mom"): "Do you believe that Santa is real?"
Well, crap. I don't want to outright lie. Lying by omission is one thing, but blatant lies are something else, right? I essentially ended up answering an onslaught of the kids' questions with more questions, and eventually wore them down. The kids brought the conversation back around to rememberances of Christmas past, full of clues of Santa's undeniable existence. I mean, who could possibly have eaten all the cookies and egg nog every year? And what about the hoof marks out in the barkdust in the front yard last Christmas? Who can argue with proof like that?
I guess what it comes down to is that I need some kind of magic words to tell them that the magic of Santa Claus, and Christmas, and Hope, and Love are always there whether there's really a guy in a red suit with flying reindeer or not. Some way to tell them that won't destroy their innocence, and take away their sense of wonder. Or maybe I'm making too much out of the whole thing, and my kids care way less about this then I do! I'm obviously not ready to give up on Santa - maybe I can hold them off a little longer...?
3 comments:
Ewwww, that's a toughie. I've always approached Santa as being one of the traditions of Christmas--not real, but we pretend that he is. So we do the reindeer food and cookies on Christmas Eve, but the kids know that I take care of the cookies ;-) We go visit Santa, but the kids know that really mom and dad are the gift providers. I find it easier to just be straight up from the beginning, rather than have to straighten out things later on, kwim? And they've accepted the "he's not real but we pretend that he is because he's part of the Christmas tradition" reasoning.
I think you handled this perfectly!! Keep them wondering a little while longer if you can. The time to "believe" slips by all too fast. However, we can always keep Santa real in our hearts no matter how old we are.
I NEVER answer this question. My oldest son has always "known" but he plays along just for fun. He'll say, "I know who Santa really is", and I just smile and don't say a word, or else I make a joke about it, "Don't tell me! I want it to be a surprise!"
I do believe in Santa--he's all around us and in each one of us.
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