My oldest had just turned 2 years old, and we were in Seattle visiting my dad. Hubby was down in CA, and would be flying up to join us in a few days. Words to describe the helplessness and despair I felt that day, both as a parent, and as a citizen of the world, are still hard to come by. If anything good can come from the events that took place on September 11, 2001, I want to share with my children so that they can understand a little better the world in which they live. How to do that without putting fear or hatred in their hearts?
My little girl is now 9 years old. She is caring, compassionate, and like many kids her age, has a strong sense of what is right, or just. I've been searching the internet for ways to honor this day, in hopes of getting a discussion going with her, but resources are hard to come by. Seems like there was a lot more out there on the web a few years ago. Are we forgetting already?
I'm not a real "rah, rah" American, but 9/11 made me realize like nothing else ever had, that to the rest of the world, we are all Americans over here. I think it's a good idea to figure out just what that means. Many of the lesson plans online have children creating patriotic crafts to help build that national identity.
Many everyday people became heroes that day. Ordinary people did extraordinary things, and risked their lives for strangers. Others did what they could by raising money or donating to help out the victims and their families. Firefighters became a shining symbol of the great things we are capable of doing for one another in our everyday lives. Some lesson plans suggest writing thank yous to your local fire department, or baking cookies for them.
9/11 got many people in touch with Faith. Even I, the devout Floundering Whatever that I've been for nearly two decades now, felt the need to be in community with others seeking understanding of what had taken place. Specifically, I needed something bigger than myself to help ease my shattered peace and innocence, and I felt the need to experience that with other people around me. I went to a service with my grandmother at her Catholic church. For one afternoon during that disjointed week, I felt tethered to the world, and it gave me hope and compassion. It also gave me an adult memory of time spent with my grandma - a memory that wouldn't have been created without the events of that week. I want my kids to feel that connectedness - that they are part of something bigger than themselves, and that even the most tragic events in our lifetime cannot sever that thread.
How will you remember 9/11, and how will you help your kids to understand?
Education World Lesson Plans - Remembering 9/11
PBS, Newshour lesson plan (for older kids)
Teacher Vision lesson plan
A to Z Teacherstuff - lesson plans, especially for elementary age kids
Here's what we did...
First I asked if she had ever heard of 9/11. She thought it was some show on television, but she wasn't really sure.
I gave her background on where we were that day; what we saw on television; the emotions I was feeling, and about how parents want only to be able to keep their children safe... and on that day, and in the days that followed, I suddenly felt myself woefully ill-equipped for that task.
We took a look at pictures of the WTC from 9/11, taken while the towers were still standing (** highly recommend parents choose carefully the pictures they want to show their children BEFORE sitting down with them - there are a lot of deeply disturbing images that you don't want to stumble upon with them sitting right there). We made a list of national symbols (flag, White House, Statue of Liberty, the President), and I explained that the WTC was also a symbol that would stand out (due to its location, and size). How would you feel if someone intentionally destroyed something that was special to you?
We talked about how many people were suddenly feeling a deep sense of patriotism. We watched a video for the song God Bless the USA, which included some of the national symbols we had already discussed. Displaying US flags on your car became popular, and was a way that Americans could feel united at a time when we were all feeling very vulnerable.
We focused on ways that people overcome their feelings of fear and helplessness. Some did it by taking action (like making donations to help out victims of disaster, or joining the military). The government responded by trying to make travel more safe. Many people sought out places of worship, and joined in fellowship with those around them. And mostly we talked to one another, because talking about what scares you can sometimes make you feel a little better.
Lastly, I wanted to convey to her that fear can sometimes cause you to jump to the wrong conclusions and have poor judgment. A 9/11 lesson plan I found online talked about the movie Monsters, Inc. In the movie, the monsters are all scared to death of children, but two monsters come to learn than children are nothing to fear. We must be careful not to make decisions from a position of fear, or act on the basis of stereotypes.
I tried not to get too much into the huge loss of human life that took place on 9/11, and with the war that followed. Even without going into those details, she still had a lot to process. She understands that the WTC towers housed offices, and that there were people in the buildings, and that the towers eventually crumbled to the ground. We also talked about the heroes onboard flight 93, that ultimately went down over Pennsylvania in an attempt to avoid more loss of life. In the years ahead, I'm sure she'll eventually grasp the magnitude of what happened, and how the world forever changed that day, but for today I was happy with what we were able to discuss.
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2 comments:
Wow, you really put a lot of thought into how you approached the topic. I told my 8 year old about 9/11 for the first time this year. I took a much more ad hoc approach and just described the events from my heart. I totally agree about the pictures -- we were looking at a newspaper dh and I had saved and thank goodness she was looking away when I turned the page to find that wrenching picture of someone sailing head-first toward the ground like a super-hero without a cape. (You probably remember it -- it's a searing photo.) I was able to just shut the paper at that point as if we had come to the end of the pictures and she didn't notice anything.
Over-all, the telling went well, even without much preparation on my part. She seemed to grasp that it was a serious and terrible day, but it clearly did not scare her or even trouble her much. Later, I told my 6 year old about it as well, but he got a more striped down, minimalist account. I only told him because it was being talked about so much. I wanted to be sure he heard about it from me first. It really struck me how much less an event affects someone who has no living memory of it. For them, it might as well have happened 50 years ago, which is fine by me. As you said, they'll grasp it more fully later, but it will always be "history" to them, won't it?
9/11 gave me a greater appreciation of what it must have been like to have lived through Pearl Harbor, and why our elders still remember that day, which for most of us is now just another shopping day before Christmas.
Stephanie
Hey, thanks for stopping by!
The whole talk with N. wasn't really planned out like it's written; it just kind of happened. I'd been thinking about it for a couple of years, and knew there were a handful of issues I felt were important to address, and messages I hoped would get across.
This year on 9/11, I watched a documentary on YouTube that focused on the photo you described. I think it's called "Falling Man". The film explored the parts of 9/11 that America chose to focus on, in particular our focus on heroism, and the stark contrast with what we chose to ignore from that day - like the hundreds of victims who were faced with whether to jump. It was very, very hard to watch, but raised some interesting points. Faced with inescapable death, what would our own choice be? How would we exercise our last expression of free will?
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